Retro May Cry
by Winged Ace
Summary: What happens when Dante goes to Hill Valley in the place of Marty... Take a guess and read the oneshot. M for Language.


**For fans of Back to the Future and Devil May Cry. This Oneshot is for you! Enjoy!**  


* * *

  
Retro May Cry

In Hill Valley (WTF?)

Dante sat and rubbed the back of his head as the doors to the café blew open, and in walks this big dumb gorilla towards this spineless little man sitting next to him. Dante paid no mind (Hey look out for the strawberry… oh… too late). Dante's dessert was now on the floor and he stared mournfully at his ruined favorite food besides pizza, then he glared angrily at the putz that knocked it from the counter.

"What are you lookin' at Butthead!" the putz (a.k.a. Biff of Back to the Future) replied stupidly to the un-kind and unruly gesture of hate. Dante said nothing as he took insult after insult as he inched his right hand to one of his guns. "What's with the red coat and stupid white hair, you posing as Santa gramps?" Dante pulled Ebony on him.

"Oh, haha, look. I've got a gun. Who's laughing now…Butthead?" Dante said as he pulled off a shot at the ground, causing Biff to freak out, something about his foot and what a crazy bastard Dante was for shooting him in the foot until Dante pointed down to where there was a smoking bullet hole in the ground next to Biff's foot. "Take a hike, or do you want me to introduce you to another friend?" Dante jeered, grinning happily pulling the Coyote-A from beneath his coat.

Biff and his friends got the hell out of there faster than the piss in their pants hit the ground. "Sorry… hey, could I bother you for another strawberry sundae and pizza please." Dante asked kindly to the tender cowering behind the counter. The tender didn't respond. "Uh…hey, could I get another strawberry sundae and a pizza? Hello!" The tender remained beneath the counter, cowering in fear until Dante smashed a hole in the counter with his fist and peered through. "Okay, now could you grab me that order, I would greatly appreciate it and your life may or may not completely depend on giving me my order. Chop, chop, or I'll chop, chop you gramps." Dante toted Rebellion over his shoulder and made a face that looked like he was fully enjoying something.

Dante cheered when he received his sundae and he quietly ate it as the guy sitting next to him stared at him in awe.

"What are you looking' at little man? Something on my beautiful face?" Dante asked, the guy staring at him (George McFly) shook his head and remained silent as he roused from his chair and left the diner. Dante shrugged and went to his pizza (Yes, Dante eats dessert before he eats dinner) He turned to the tender and asked "Will this cost me anything?" The clerk was quick to answer "No" and was probably smart to because Dante appeared to have alternative ways to ending arguments, and god knows how many more alternatives were hidden beneath his coat.

Dante left after inhaling his food and decided to wander the town in anticipation of discovering something good, maybe a bar or pool hall. Just then there was a relatively petite man that burst from the shadows of an alley brandishing a gun to Dante.

"Fork over all of your money and no-one gets hurt!" The man said to Dante with a squeak. Dante sighed and the man looked as though he was about to shoot, but Dante swung Rebellion down and took off the hand of the man. He screamed and passed out as blood gushed from the open wound and Dante stepped over him.

"Safety was on shit for brains!" Dante chimed as he left the mugger for dead. Dante had only walked a few blocks before a man in a large overcoat walked in front of him and tore his coat open. Dante looked at him, doing a double take and a bolt of lightning struck him, revealing his Devil Trigger form. This man screamed like a little girl and ran away tripping into the street and getting hit by a car after getting back up. Dante giggled evilly and thought 'Hey, this place is pretty fun! I like this place and maybe I'll stay a while.'

Dante returned to his home after he leveled the entire township to kill a sneaky little bugger what stole his wallet, and turned out to be a demon without any sense in his head. Hill Valley was never rebuilt and Dante never thought about the place ever again… either that or he was too drunk the next day to remember where he was.

THE END  


* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the story... really. Review and suggest something that I can write just for YOU! Thank you.**


End file.
